Since retirement with more time spent talking with men, I realise we don’t know how to stop being so hard on ourselves. Whatever we do just doesn’t seem good enough. For example, in the maintenance group Will and I can never be the carpenter Tom is, Tom and I will never be the welder Will is and Will and Tom will never be … nah they are better than me at everything.
I think many of us were raised to believe self-criticism is necessary in order to be “good”. We must keep ourselves in line. Make sure we do the right thing. Meet expectations. But I’m learning oh so slowly that Jesus came to rescue me from being “good” just as surely as he came to rescue me from being a sinner.
What do I mean? I think trying to be “good” is the modern-day version of living under the law. It’s about following rules instead of living freely in a relationship with God. It’s about trying to achieve perfection instead of wholly trusting in grace. It’s about proving why I should be loved instead of resting in the belief that I already am.
I am likely to show up every day of my life as someone who must hustle to prove my worth, who hears a voice of condemnation in my mind, who feels like maybe I could be a little better.
I need Jesus to rescue me from all of this.
Craig
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