It wasn’t that long ago that I had someone tell me I’m authoritarian in my leadership. I was gutted and gobsmaked. In all the decades I’ve been in leadership, there has only been one other occasion someone said this about me. Regardless, I had to ‘check-in’ with the Lord to see if there was any truth to it. I also asked three people who know me and work closely with me. They said, ‘no’. Finally, I came to the conclusion that there was no substance in the remark. Despite this, I couldn’t shake off the feelings of despair, anger, hurt and condemnation.
I tried! “Lord, help me get over this. Don’t let me be stuck in this place”.
The next morning, I was closing webpages that were still opened on my laptop when I came across an article I had read a few days ago but I noticed a page link to ‘Timothy Keller’ that I hadn’t noticed before. He is one of my favourite authors and Bible teachers.
Clicking the link, it took me to a book of his for sale at Amazon. The title: The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness: The Path to the True Christian Joy. In the brief write up of the book, these words jumped right out at me: “In this short and punchy book, best selling author Timothy Keller, shows that gospel humility means we can stop connecting every experience, every conversation with ourselves and can thus be free from self condemnation. A truly gospel humble person is not a self-hating person or a self-loving person, but a self-forgetful person. This freedom can be yours…”
It was a God-moment! Something in my mind and heart shifted.
Here is the quote in context, “…the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less. Gospel-humility is not needing to think about myself. Not needing to connect things with myself. It is an end to thoughts such as, ‘I’m in this room with these people, does not make me look good? Do I want to be here?’ True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings”.
Self-forgetfulness is not to be confused with being in denial and unteachable. It is about not taking things so personally, you become self-absorbed. Pray. Reflect. Own what you can of the criticism. Remedy, if needed). THEN LET GO and LEAVE IT WITH GOD.
If you’re in a position of responsibility, there is no escaping from criticisms but by the grace of God, may our response be one marked by humility a.k.a ‘Self-forgetfulness’.
Following Jesus,
Mark
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